Today is one of the oldest and holiest holidays in the Celtic tradition. Halloween or Samhain (sah-ween) is the time when we honor the harvest, the end of summer. It is this time when the veils between the spirit world and the physical world are thinnest. We decorate our homes with symbols of the harvest, carve faces into pumpkins, inviting in their lively spirits; and don costumes of ghoulish beasts to remind ourselves of death and to make it seem just a little less scary. We remember our dead and give thanks to be alive.
Some seek communion with loved ones, others guidance from the ancient ones, and many quietly memorialize their dead with small remembrances and prayers. We are our great grandmothers and great grandfathers, they are in our bones, our eyes, our DNA. To honour them is to honour our bodies and our lives, to remember that from which we came and to give thanks for the bounty we are blessed with.
This is the night when the gateway between
our world and the spirit world is thinnest.
Tonight is a night to call out those who came before.
Tonight I honor my ancestors.
Spirits of my fathers and mothers, I call to you,
and welcome you to join me for this night.
You watch over me always,
protecting and guiding me,
and tonight I thank you.
Your blood runs in my veins,
your spirit is in my heart,your memories are in my soul.
With the gift of remembrance.
I remember all of you.
You are dead but never forgotten,
and you live on within me,
and within those who are yet to come.
— A Prayer to the Ancestors by Patti Wigington
The end of the summer marks the end of the Celtic year, with November 1 recognized as the traditional Celtic New Year and the start of winter. It is a time for us to move inward to our warm homes, nest with our loved ones and practice gratitude for our many and bountiful blessings. Winter is a time of introspection and slowed growth, when we dwell with our thoughts which will become the seedlings of action that burst forth in the spring.
This year my family lost a dear friend, Jon Curry. Jon was a native of Washington state, a photographer, a Vietnam Veteran, a son, a brother, a sailor and the best friend of my Uncle Llwyd who was like a father to me for the first several years of my life. Uncle Llwyd is gone too, he passed 6 years ago.
I know they are both together somewhere, telling their stories, laughing hard about the hell they are raising and making art out of their experiences. When these great men passed, friends all over held memorials for them, calling up memories and remembering their legacy with respect and fondness.
So tonight, as candy passes hands and treats are traded in lieu of tricks, while my young son is learning about the spooky fun of Halloween, I am remembering my loved ones – my father, uncles, grandparents, my ancestors and all those who have come before me. Tomorrow my kids and I will feast with our dead. I’ll tell my kiddos stories about each of their ancestors and together we will keep their memory alive for another year.
May the ancestors deliver blessings on you and yours…
May the new year bear great fruits for you…
May your granted wishes be as many as the seeds in a pomegranate…
May the slide into darkness bring you light…
May the memories of what has been keep you strong for what is to be…
May this Samhain cleanse your heart, your soul, and your mind!
— Traditional Samhain Blessing
Thank you for taking the time to read my sharing. Blessed Samhain, Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.
I had such a reaction to this. Being a single, working parent means that sometimes I have to say no to playing because I am (insert activity required for daily existence) and then I have to make myself stop and just play with him, which feels hard, like I’m working at it. So of course the guilt starts in strong when he’s showing what I am modeling as not being available to him…
But then I thought that maybe modeling working and then stopping to play is a good thing. Maybe I’m not abandoning him and “scarring him for life” in doing so. Maybe instead what he is learning about how to amuse himself – and learning that sometimes we play and sometimes we work – is positive?
Aye yay- it’s all just a guessing game, this parenting thing. I often ponder that it must have been much simpler when we were in small villages or tribes and the kids literally “played” at what the adults were “working” at, there wasn’t much difference between the two activities then. Children learned how to do the things required in life because they played at doing them from the time they were old enough to hold something in their hands. They mimicked their parents work until they were able to start helping, between the ages of 3 and 4.
In a lot of ways, I think the expectation I have on myself, as a parent, to always be available on my children’s schedule to do what the they want to do is an unrealistic expectation and may set my children up for not being able to be resilient and resourceful when they are in need.
How do you handle your child’s playtime requests? Are you always available?
The 4th annual Global Coworking Unconference was held in Berkeley, California last week. It was an amazing event, and I really felt like this was the year that GCUC grew into it’s own. The attendance was the usual mix of people looking to start or just starting their coworking spaces, veteran operators/owners, vendors and people in the general shared office and real estate world. Everybody came excited to learn, share and make new connections and see friends they hadn’t seen in a year.
The irony for me was that, even though GCUC was in my own back yard, I wasn’t able to participate as much as I have in years past. I’m happy to say my kids come first for me these days and well, they did last week too. Actually, I decided that Thursday was “Bring Your Daughter to GCUC Day” and had my 15 year old join me. She loved it and was disappointed when I told her she had to skip GCUC on Friday to attend school.
Anyway, what with all of my mom duties, I missed the entire unconference (my favorite part) and only caught one panel. I did, however, get to introduce my daughter to my long time coworking friends, connect with some new faces and, as expected, I came away with a great feeling about the coworking world and the possibilities it offers to help people work happier.
So when I pondered my biggest takeaway I realized that it it was simple. We hear it all the time from new people entering the industry, whether they’re touring our spaces, calling and asking questions about how to run a coworking business or attending GCUC for the first time: “Everyone was so friendly!” or “I felt so comfortable asking questions!” and “I was surprised at how open and helpful everyone in coworking is.”
This is my take-away: We collaborate. For us it’s about coopetition, not competition.
As an industry, we are changing the way businesses interact.
I love this about us. I love that we open our spaces to all forms of business, that when people join our communities they don’t compete with each other. That even when people who would traditionally see each other as competition meet in a coworking space, they open up and share ideas, sensing an opportunity for collaboration, rather than a potential threat to their individual businesses. In fact, we as an industry see that our businesses and the businesses of our members are enhanced by collaboration. Coworking people share “trade secrets” with each other openly. We share business concepts, financial models, community building best practices. We help new spaces to open and provide them with the mentorship needed to allow them to succeed. This open and supportive environment has allowed us, as movement seedlings, to grow and flourish into a real industry. And the corporate world is taking notes.
For a long time, there was a sense that if the coworking movement became “about” business that we would lose our authenticity, our community roots. That the five core values would be forgotten in the search for profits. I think that it’s just possible that what may happen instead is the corporate business world will learn more from us than open plan seating and big community tables. They’ll learn the coworking industry offers more traditional businesses knowledge that through the values of Collaboration, Openness, Community, Accessibility and Sustainability, businesses can increase employee engagement, productivity, innovation and enhance their bottom lines.
My daughter is going to enter the world of work some time in the next 8 years. I’m excited to know that we are building a future where it’s expected that we care about our members, each other and about making this world just a little better. One happier coworker at a time.
This post is about parenting, police, and a healthy dose of humor and gratitude.
My daughter has reached the age where she likes to go out with her friends on her own. I knew this would come, it always does, right? I did it. In fact, when I was much younger than her, I was sneaking out of my house, going to parties with my friends, drinking wine coolers and “cruising the loop”. Ah, the joys of rural, small-town teenage life! So, yeah, I knew this time would come. I’ve prepared myself for it. My daughter and I have talked about it, adnauseum- the requisite conversations about not getting into cars with drunk people, about letting me know where she is at all times, about calling me if she’s in trouble… no matter what. So far, so good. She’s been open and honest with me and I’ve trusted her.
So on that Wednesday, as we assembled her costume- a bustier, stockings, lacy dance shorts and character shoes- her plans for that weekend’s performance of Rocky Horror were revealed to me. I was shocked to learn the plan she had cooked up with her friend. He would meet her the Louden Nelson Community Center theatre, where she was in a production of the Addams Family, after the show ended. They would walk 4 blocks to the Del Mar and then wait in line for two hours for the show to start. I couldn’t chaperone this episode because I would be home with my sleeping toddler. Of course, I immediately overreacted (whoops) and a long Mother-Daughter “Discussion” ensued, complete with statements like “You’re not walking downtown at 10 pm to stand in line for two hours, in that costume!” and retorts like “I’m going to wear a big, long coat, Mom. We will be in a line with 200 other people, nothing is going to happen.” So, of course, I brought in The Dad. He spoke with her by phone, privately, in her room, I could hear little segments of her hysterical end of the conversation for a while. Then, we all slept on it.
The next day I brought in The Other Moms and The Empowered Women. They confirmed what I knew. My intuition was correct. And when we were together again, I said what I should have said, all along. I managed to get out a calm, cool and collected version of “My job is to keep you safe, and this makes my motherly intuition crawl. So I’m saying now, unless there is an adult chaperone, you aren’t going to Rocky.”
Luckily, Dad came to the rescue. We made a plan that he would follow the kids from the theatre to the theater in his car. Then he would sit outside, in his car, while she waited in line, and then head home when she was safely inside. Seems like a good plan, right? Complete with independence, skimpy costumes, walking downtown at night and a big daddy in the car just off to the distance, in case anything might happen. Haha! The best laid plans…
About half way through those two hours, Dad was settled in for the long haul when a police officer walked up to his car, knocked on the window and asked him to get out of the car. After performing the usual identity checks the officer told him that the employees at the theater had called in a report of a creepy old guy sitting across the street from the Del Mar, watching the kids in line for Rocky Horror. Oops! Turns out our idea was super creepy, who woulda thunk?
After a few minutes of explanations, mainly Dad telling the officer that one of those kids in line was his, that she had a worried mama sitting at home with a sleeping toddler, that he was there to keep an eye on her, Dad was allowed to resume his watch. This time, knowing the police were there to protect our kids. That they cared, just as much as the parents did, that the tradition of midnight showings of Rocky at The Del Mar Theater was an activity that our kids could safely attend, without fear of being caught up in the unsafe nightlife so pervasive on Pacific Avenue after dark. I know there were other places in Santa Cruz the women and men in blue uniforms could have been that night. But I’m glad they were hanging out at the Del Mar.
Many thanks to the Santa Cruz Police and the Del Mar Theater for offering a fun event and for keeping our kids safe in their community. Santa Cruz is truly an awesome town!
Saturday October 10 was the inaugural Girls in Tech Managing Directors Retreat. The retreat was held at the University Center on the campus of UCSC. Seana Norvell planned and executed the retreat with the grace and efficiency of a seasoned event coordinator. From the casual mixer at Cafe Mare the evening before to the little bags of saltwater taffys and mini steno pads for note taking at our seats, Seana manged to make each participant feel welcome and included.
The speakers and workshops were excellent and the highlight of the day was resoundingly the public speaking course taught by Kristin Schaefer and Bronwyn Saglimbeni. Another fave was the VP of New Business Development at Google and General Manager of Google.Org Megan Smith, Megan gave an inspiring talk surrounding the web, interconnectedness and online activism. I was pleased to have the opportunity to catch Megan afterward for some one on one time in which we shared our passion for helping people and discovered a common influence – our activist mothers. Not least was the fireside chat with the newly annointed VP of Innovation for Plantronics Joyce Shimizu and Priya Ganapati of WIRED. I have a soft spot for Plantronics as they are both a local Santa Cruz company and a former client of mine. I really enjoyed listening to Joyce discourse on motherhood, product launches and successfully navaigating a 26 year long career in a tech related field. Her secret? A short priority list consisting of work, health and family. I could indeed learn a lot from her.
I really enjoyed meeting all of the managing directors from other chapters as well as the founder Adriana Gascoigne. One take away that I had is that GIT needs more women who are building the tech to get involved.
So here’s a challenge to my super geeky girlfriends: Show the world that girls build cool things and are innovators to society’s needs by becoming active in a group that promotes women in non traditional fields such as GIT.
What do you have to lose? Perhaps only the impression that girls simply like to play with tech, rather than create it.